Sermon Notes
Pastor Jeff Stanfill

"Setting Your Family Apart"
Holiness (with Actions) - Part 2
June 11, 2006 - AM Service

MAKING YOUR HOME A TREASURE HOUSE - FAMILY SERIES
(COMMUNICABLE ATTRIBUTES OF GOD)
HOLINESS - PART 2
"WITH ACTIONS"
TEXT: 2 CHRON. 6:15
INTRO:
This was a day to remember for its celebration, its civic importance, and its solemn sacredness. The grandest building of the ancient world was being set apart for a holy purpose. This building was about 90 feet by 30 feet, three stories tall, and made of the finest timbers of pine. It's interior was inlaid with gold. It was adorned with jewels and precious stones. Artwork depicting heavenly beings was carved into the walls.

The furnishings were few but each specialized for its purpose. An altar of bronze for sacrifices and a large pool elevated on the backs of 12 cast metal bulls were in the public area of the building. Inside were few actually entered were a golden altar, unique tables for bread, and special candlesticks for lighting. And in the deepest part of the building where one specially qualified man entered once a year was the national treasure of the people - the Ark of the Covenant.

At the dedication of this building, as Solomon gathered the people of Israel for prayer, the power of God fell on the place and ran the priests out of the building. The presence of God was so strong that it appeared as a cloud in the building itself. In Solomon's prayer, he spoke of something of God's character that is important still today. It has meaning not only in who God is but in who we are to be and what we are to do in making our homes a treasure house.

READ VERSE 6:15. God is holy and sets His people apart as holy. He sanctifies us with His Word. But His word is not mere talk or print. God's Word is made real with action; His character is seen in what He does.

REVIEW LAST WEEK - HOLINESS.

How can a friendship or a family be enriched through the sharing of God's holiness?
I. FAMILY AND FRIEND HOLINESS
Holiness within a personal relationship is, naturally, relational - set apart from something, and moral, set apart for something.
1. First, the truth that God is holy can enrich a friendship or a family when the individuals do as God does -- set each other apart as special. Everything associated with God is set apart; it is marked out from everything else. Such was the Temple, the priests, and believers. God is the most special being that exists or can exist. He is holy and everything and everyone associated with Him must be treated differently. We can learn about enriching our relationships by treating friends and family members as set apart; we treat them differently than just everyone else. The grounds for this is shown to us in Jesus' relationship with His Church and put in the context of husband and wife. Eph 5:25-33. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church.
What is commonly lacking in today's family is a sense of being set apart to one another. With today's schedules, emotionally draining work and school environments, and unrealistic expectations of others, we simply and plainly fail to set our families apart to each other and even to God. How can we set one another apart as special?
· Children, honor your Mother and your Father. This is a command of God that marks our life as holy and it also sets parents apart from others in authority. Many attempt to tell children and teens what to do - peers, TV, pop culture idols - but it is your parents that are set apart as special and are to be obeyed. Your cheerful obedience causes your parents to feel special to you.
· Parents, we treat our children as set apart by not provoking them to anger. That does not mean a parent walks around on eggshells with their children. It means that a parent disciplines children fairly. Notice this means to discipline them but also to do it fairly. Many children feel unloved because no adult ever set the protective boundaries for them which fair discipline does. How to be fair? Clear rules and expectations. Instructions and training in how to follow what is expected. Correction when wrong. Make consequences fit the deed; and there must always be consequences to learn responsibility. Be supportive of them in their endeavors and guide them away from harmful undertakings. The fact of life is that a 15 year old does not have the knowledge, experience, or wisdom of a thirty-five year old. Parents, get in between that child and the harmful things they want to do.
· Husbands, show your wife that she has been set apart by you, that of all the women she is the one you have chosen and love. Do this in romantic ways; have conversations with her where you listen AND you talk to her; tell her about your day.
· Wives, set that husband apart from all other men. Respect him above all other people (he can live without your love but he withers away without your respect) by heeding his counsel (he may be wrong but with practice he will learn), respect him by following him (some wives want a husband that will be a spiritual leader but then cut him down at the knees when he sets a direction she does not like), show him where he is the better man for walking with God (he gets no encouragement like that at work.)

2. Second, see that your family and friendships are centered on God. This is being set apart for something holy.
· There are some families that are sports families - they play ball each season and their activities center around the game schedule.
· There are other families that are education families - they read and study, get into discussions with one another about current events, the kids get scholarships and everyone is expected to be educated.
· There are computer families with 1.2 computers per member of the household. They are always online and just IM one another. They have to have more than the latest electronic gadget, they have the next one before anyone else knows about it.
· There are movie and DVD families that every evening is into that night's TV show.
· There are money families (which we all want to be a member of!), political families, society families.
A family and friendships that will be most enriched and fulfilled are the families and friendships that center on God. Whether its sports, education, money, or politics it is God in the middle, on both ends, and around the corner.
· Church is not an extracurricular activity,
· family and friendship prayers are not occasional,
· Bible reading is not just for the holidays it is the core center of their live.
A family or an individual in a friendship is centered on God when the one thing that a spouse, the kids, a friend can count on is that whatever you do or decide it will be decided or done for God's honor.

3. Third, establish boundaries to guard your family and friendships from evil influences. ILLU: There is a fence around our backyard. It forms a boundary line. It defines certain things. That fence defines what is ours and what is not; it defines where some things can happen and where they cannot; it even defines who can go where and who cannot. It is a boundary that guards by what it defines. If you desire a family and friendships that are healthy, rewarding, fulfilling, compete and above all holy - then you must have boundaries.
· Establish a boundary regarding the people that are allowed to influence you. A believer can and must interact with unbelievers. 1 Cor 5:9-11. I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people- 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But interacting and influencing are two different things. Worldly people are not going to encourage you to forgive but to get even; they will not advise you to be patient and allow someone's heart to be changed by God. Isn't it much better to have friends that will give you biblical advice and not tabloid advice? Or that tell you of their faith that you will do the God-honoring thing?
· Establish a boundary around your entertainment other than "I hear it's a good movie."
· Establish a boundary around the language you speak and I am not speaking of just vulgarity. Some people go ballistic when they hear certain words but they will blast one another in their homes with words that cut, hurt, and damage. Parents, put a boundary around your own mouth and protect your children from the evil influence of discouragement and verbal abuse. Friends, put a boundary around your tongue and ban gossip. What you know may be true, but it serves no one to tell it. More specifically about words next week.
· Establish a boundary around your interaction with the opposite sex. Flirting is only proper with your spouse. Sharing deep emotional needs that have not been shared first with your family is dangerous.

4. Fourth, promote holiness to one another before God.
· Speak kindly, softly, and tenderly (because our God is kind to lead us into salvation).
· Encourage one another daily by applauding the good others do (because it prevents hardening of the heart - Heb. 3:13).
· Make church attendance an assumption. This means the question, "Are we going to church this morning?" never needs asking.
· Avoid what dulls your desire for God. (Some activities are wholesome until they take you over wholesale!)

CONCL: